HI! Remember me? I started this blog and then abandoned it.
OK, that might be overdoing it just a little but I have been terribly absent and don’t think I don’t know it.
Sometimes, you have to circle back around when you leave the path and that’s what I did. It’s not like I’m loaded down with orders, either. This time two years ago, I had 80 orders and last year 40. This year I have maybe 15. (I am in slight panic about that.) I’ve been busy. I haven’t been staring out the window – though a quick glance will show some snow on the neighbor’s roof – but not an amount to get Scrooge in a bad mood.
I’ve gotten myself in quite a fix. A couple of weeks ago I went to St. Louis for Leadership Development Days for the UMW (United Methodist Women) because I agreed to take on the position of Coordinator of Social Action for my conference – Northern Illinois – I found myself very excited about it. That’s because I romanticized it in my head – the good I would do. The transformation I would have a part of. It was epic.
Oh my god, it’s overwhelming already. I have to coordinate Lobby Day – a day where we gather, go to the state capitol and talk to our legislators. I thought someone else coordinated and I just spread the news – nope, it’s all mine. Last year, when I didn’t have it – the info didn’t get out in time and there were some people upset. So this, my first official act, has got to be right.
I also believe the reason my shop isn’t thriving is because I’ve put myself in a bubble. Now, that may fly in the face of the success of the past two years where I was nothing but work, but I don’t consider those years as thriving – I was stressed and messed. I would like that volume back – no question – but I did myself harm. I wasn’t thriving. I like busy and purposefulness. I don’t like stress and fear – nothing about knitting should cause stress and fear. I mean, it’s knitting.
I have a theory moving toward belief that if I start to do good as defined by my faith that I will find myself more successful. I think God wants me to move out of myself so I can appreciate and see the blessings I have and to just do more good.
So, as scary as it is – I look forward to it and hope I have the strength and character to do it all well and with eager sincerity.
I’ll start with not being a stranger.